Writing this, I’m about to finish up my 4th week of training for my 6th Cleveland Half Marathon. When this is posted, I’ll be a couple of days into my 5th week and, who knows, maybe I’ll feel a little different by then, but this is how I feel now.
I’m not feeling it. I know this training plan works and I know that I’m doing fine, but I’ve had more disappointing runs than I’d like to admit. I can’t really put my finger on it, but something just doesn’t feel right. I’m not as strong as I used to be. I’m not as motivated as I’d like to be (I’ve skipped a lot of Wednesday runs).
My pace ranges from about a minute and a half down to 30 seconds slower than what I’m aiming for. This isn’t a big deal, but it sure feels like it! I know that my slowness, in part, can be attributed to fear. I’m still a little scared of falling again. I know that I’m being extra cautious and slowing down as I head for sidewalks that I know are especially treacherous. I’m running partially on the road and avoiding potholes and gravel, partially on the sidewalk while avoiding upheaved blocks of cement and fallen branches.
While I’m on the treadmill, I get bored, but I run at my usual pace if not faster. I know that I’m capable of this pace and I know that I can meet my goal for the half marathon, but I keep coming back from my longer-than-3-mile runs a little pissy.
I guess I just need to get out of my own head. I’m making myself pace crazy.
(In reality, I need to brace myself for a slightly slower race because one of my best friends is getting married the day before the half marathon… 🙂 )